Today in many parts of the world, Mothers are being pampered, spoilt, and given the royal treatment by their children. They are told how wonderful they are and thanked for the sacrifices they have made.
For some Mothers, its been one hell of a sacrifice. That is why today’s speech by the Pope marking 40 years since the release of Pope Paul VI’s encyclical letter “Humanae Vitae” (Of Human Life), was so inappropriate. For those of you who are unaware, this was basically a letter outlining the Catholic Church’s ban on artificial contraception. It not only made Catholic parenting harder than it already was, but it placed a lot more pressure on the woman, who was now faced with the possibility of a pregnancy everytime she wanted a bit of nookie with hubby!
You might say that it also put pressure on the father, but I disagree. If a Catholic couple wished to follow the rules of the church, they had to dance through the minefield of a woman’s menstrual cycle, and act like they were goldilocks walking through the three bears’ house, looking for a chair, a bowl of porridge, and a bed that was ‘just right.’ Except this time, they had to find that time in the menstrual cycle that was ‘just right’, and would not produce kiddies. It was the woman who had to keep track, the woman who had to put up with the horny naggings of a husband in need, and the woman who couldn’t follow her natural urges and make love to her husband at will.
Pope Benedict XVI’s speech today celebrated ‘Humanae Vitae’s virtues:
The teaching laid out in the ‘Humanae vitae’ encyclical isn’t easy,” Benedict said.
“What was true yesterday remains true even today. The truth expressed in ‘Humanae vitae’ doesn’t change; on the contrary, in the light of new scientific discoveries, it is ever more up to date,” the pope added.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanae_Vitae
I find his words quite comical, considering this man is a celibate who, if he has followed his vow of celibacy, has not had sex in over 50 years, if at all! To turn around to Mothers on this day of all days and say that this encyclical wasn’t easy, is an insult to Mothers everywhere. How many women could not follow the ‘natural method’ of contraception outlined above? What was that couple supposed to do? Were they supposed to either keep churning out kiddies for God, or give up sex completely?
Th Catholic Church is a world leader in tackling issues of social justice; it always has been. But when it comes to issues regarding sexual morality, or anything to do with ‘the flesh’, it is so out of touch, it is embarrassing. And to celebrate this encyclical today of all days, was ill timed, and insensitive.
A little history on this encyclical, and why it has been so contentious over the years:
With the appearance of the first oral contraceptives in 1960, some voices in the Church argued for a reconsideration of the Church positions. In 1963 Pope John XXIII established a commission of six European non-theologians to study questions of birth control and population. After John’s death in 1963, Pope Paul VI added theologians to the commission and over three years expanded it to 72 members from five continents (including 16 theologians, 13 physicians and 5 women, with an executive committee of 9 bishops and 7 cardinals). The commission produced a report in 1966, proposing that artificial birth control was not intrinsically evil and that Catholic couples should be allowed to decide for themselves about the methods to be employed…….Paul VI explicitly rejected his commission’s recommendations in the text of Humanae Vitae, noting the 72 member commission had not been unanimous (4 theologian priests had dissented, and 1 cardinal and 2 bishops had voted that contraception was intrinsically evil.)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanae_Vitae
So the church has made women, and Mothers in particular, suffer for 40 years for an encyclical that should never have happened. It has been said that;
“Pope Paul VI, saddened by the reactions to Humanae Vitae, would not issue any additional encyclicals in the remaining ten years of his pontificate.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanae_Vitae
Looks like someone’s conscience got the better of him.
To all the Mothers out there, including my own Mother, and my sister, I wish you the happiest of Mother’s Days, and may your families truly thank you for all that you are to them.
Enjoy your day.
July 25, 2008 at 7:37 am
I understand that this upsets you. Have you read the entire document of Humanae Vitae? Have you read supporting explanations of it before accusing a wise and holy man (yes! gasp! a celibate!) of being a Catholic male chauvenist? By the way there are millions of women out there who have not suffered in the forty years since Humanae Vitae was issued, and growing numbers every day who embrace a vision of human sexuality that integrates the unitive and procrative aspects, not exhiling God from the bedroom. They are not the vision of long haired, backwoods cultists that you imagine. They come in all shapes and sizes, interests, and yes, even different religions. Check out more on NFP at http://www.njnfp.org. Peace.
July 25, 2008 at 7:15 pm
A couple of observations coming out of your comments. Firstly, it is interesting that you see the Pope as a wise and holy man simply because he is the Pope. Secondly, for those ‘millions of women’ who can achieve happiness through natural planning, I wish them good luck and happiness. The Pill, being a drug, can have nasty side effects, and I can understand some women rejoicing in the fact that their body is cooperative. However, your most narrow comment was the assumption that when women do look for artificial means to assist with their family planning, they are ‘exhiling God from the bedroom’.
I never accused Pope Benedict of being a male chauvinist, simply insensitive. I am very happy that you feel blessed with being able to achieve your childbearing goals through natural means. However, the church is quite tunnel visioned, and only sees people like you, the converted.
Peace to you and yours.
July 28, 2008 at 10:19 pm
A couple of observations coming out of your response to nfpworks. Firstly, it strikes me that you assume a female Catholic NFP follower who considers the Pope a “wise and holy” man must do so exclusively because of his Papal title. I’m wondering if it’s possible that nfpworks is somewhat cognizant and was able to arrive at her opinion through open-minded study and a review of his works?
I’m mildly concerned about your definition of ‘chauvinist’. You say the encyclical pressured women, assigned them the responsibility to track her cycle and take on the stress of her “husband in need.” Did you not blame the church for a 40-year suffering of women? Certainly you wouldn’t deny that any organization involved in such oppression of women isn’t at least chauvinist if not downright tyrannical.
I am curious at such a negative interpretation of the encyclical! Is it inconceivable to you that a couple may work together to plan a family, with the husband taking an active role, that a “horny” husband may be mature enough to *not* nag, that he might accompany his bride through education of their common fertility cycle, and that the two may lift each other up during their natural urges to build strength in self-control and strength in marriage? In response to your own tunnel vision, I challenge you to search out the beauty of NFP, and acknowledge those couples who make an informed, intellectual choice of health and respect over mindless slavery to popular, unhealthy fads.
July 29, 2008 at 9:14 pm
I take all your points on board. I say to you what I said to nfpworks. If you read it closely and not twist and distort what I have said, you will find I have been very supportive of women who are at ease with nfp. However, you, like nfp, are making your own assumptions, whilst criticising what you see as my assumptions. Your assumption is that those that follow nfp are ‘informed and intellectual’, and those that don’t are slaves to ‘popular, unhealthy fads.’ You write eloquently and well, but truly, I doubt the depth and breadth of your intelligence. Please read both my blog and my response to nfp again. You have missed too many points to mention here, as well as twisted and distorted my opinions. Above all, remember that Pope Paul VI ignored an educated, intelligent panel of experts to ‘go it alone’ on this issue. Please stop demonising artificial contraception, and those who use it.
August 3, 2008 at 3:17 am
I am writing not because I think I will change your mind, but because it is NFP awareness week, and as a women who practices NFP and whose life has been so positively changed by it, I feel the need to tell you my experience.
Women, as you may or may not know, are taught from adolescence to fear their bodies, instead of to understand and respect them. At least, that is the experience of most women in public schools. We learn to think of our fertility as a disease that must be treated and cured by doctors who know better than we ever could. We learn about our periods, but we don’t learn about how to understand our own fertility signs. From our culture we learn to think of our bodies as objects of sexual pleasure for men, instead of a system designed for the rearing of children and marital love (the idea that mammaries are for milk and not filling out a bikini top is alien to the average 15 year old).
Before our marriage, my husband and I committed to doing NFP. We were scared, but we trusted in our faith and were determined to give it our best shot. It has been one of the most surprising blessings of our lives. We have learned in a deep and intimate way how my body works. We can tell when I am ovulating, and precisely which hormones are present at what times. I know why I am feeling a certain way–it has a palpable context for me. I know why I am more emotional during estrogen surges, and so does my husband, and he is more patient with me as a result. We have control of my cycle, and without chemical dependence on hormones that are harmful to my body and the environment. We have knowledge, and we are empowered. Moreover, because we no longer take sex for granted, we have learned to appreciate and savor the times we do have after a period of abstaining. NFP promotes the virtue of temperance, in the specific form of chastity. It is a virtue that is all but lost on most Americans, who are overstuffed, oversexed, and overindulged.
Finally, you assume that the burden is on the woman in NFP. Why is it such a burden to understand one’s own body? Why such a burden to notice what is happening in your cycle? Moreover, my husband takes care of my charts, not me–he writes down my temperature and interprets my thermal shifts. All I do is write down my other fertility signs (I won’t bore you with details) The idea that faithful Catholic men are callous or indifferent patriarchs is an old canard that ought to have been discarded by now.
Of course, I know that you (like most) will continue to demonize the Church and say that it hurts women. But you should know that in my life, and the lives of many women like me (and I am a PhD who teaches at a public university), NFP has been a godsend.
August 9, 2008 at 8:37 pm
I will only say to you what I have said to the other women who have written to me. If it works for you, then it works for you. And all of you obviously have very caring husbands and that makes it a lot easier. Why you needed to tell me that you have a PhD is beyond me. I have a Masters Degree, but I don’t feel the need to tell someone that to show them that I am intelligent.
But I notice with each of these comments, you all make gross assumptions, and assumptions that are extremely judgemental. Yours was the line: “…most Americans, who are overstuffed, oversexed, and overindulged.” This assumes that they are ‘lost’ and you have found this amazingly pure path. Please, Miss Ph.D, get down off that crucifix, someone needs the wood.I eagerly await another instalment from the NFP collective.
July 5, 2009 at 5:08 pm
As a convert to the Catholic faith, and newly married, I am very blessed by NFP in my marriage.
Also, I understand why Jennifer, in an earlier post, mentioned that she is in a PhD program. It is not to be snooty, it is because doctors are given more respect in our society. To give one example: I was hoping to teach NFP in my parish, and I asked a pastoral associate if she knew anyone who teaches it. I received a very impertinent response in which I was told that “frankly, I don’t think that is necessary here. Women can get that information from their doctors.”
The fact is, I cannot get that information from my doctor because he/she is only interested in some artificial burn/poison/cut method to planning my family. It is very sad that many within the Church are handing over responsibility to their doctors, when God clearly place the signs of fertility within a woman’s body.
The only cross I have to bear in my marriage is that my father-in-law has a deep-seated hatred of NFP. It is almost unexplainable, except that he lost his wife to cancer, most probably due to the use of the Pill in their marriage. Now, if he had not hated NFP so much, perhaps his wife would still be alive.